Gooseberry by Robin Gow

Author:Robin Gow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Amulet Books
Published: 2024-05-14T00:00:00+00:00

Recess is always after lunch. As we all walk out into the schoolyard, Mrs. Luca taps my shoulder.

My heart races. I’m going into oh no I’m definitely in trouble mode. Here it is. All the bad school stuff is finally catching up with me. She’s going to tell me she needs to have a meeting with Eri and Jodie and then they’re going to hold me back and then I’m never going to see Clementine and Opal and Finch and they’re just going to stop thinking about me all together.

Mrs. Luca’s face shifts. “Are you alright, B?”

“Yes,” I lie.

“Just come to the side here. We’ll go outside with the rest of the class, but I want to talk to you for a second.”

We stand by the door. All my thoughts are bouncing around and off one another. I want to run away—sprint across the playground. Could I run home from here? I wish I was homeschooled already. “OK,” I manage.

I have no idea what to do with my hands. I put them behind my back and then in front and then I flick my fingers to try to stay calm.

“You’re not in trouble,” Mrs. Luca says. “I first wanted to apologize to you.”

It takes a second for my brain to catch up. “What?” I ask.

“This morning. I should have said more when Cody was making fun of you and your foster parents. I didn’t because honestly, I was a little unsure what would be right to say. I’m thinking of inviting your parents in for a meeting to talk about it,” she explains. I feel relieved and also really happy that Mrs. Luca is saying something. I just thought she didn’t care about what Cody said.

“OK,” I say, my brain still spinning but slowly catching up.

She sighs. “Then, B, we have to talk about how you’re doing in class.”

All my relief vanishes.

“I want to help you get back on track. I think we may want to put you in some support classes to help you but we’re not sure yet. This isn’t a punishment or anything like that. Support is there to make things easier.”

“But I don’t want to go to classes without Clementine,” I say without meaning to. My face flushes.

Mrs. Luca smiles. “I know Clementine is a good friend. She stands up for you, but you should focus on yourself, B.” She always misgenders Clementine when she talks about zer. I want to correct Mrs. Luca but I don’t think she’ll understand. I wish more teachers understood that not everyone likes he or she or they pronouns. Mrs. Luca adds, “Sometimes we have to do things without our friends.” I nod along even though I’m thinking, There’s no way I’m doing some class all alone without any friends.

“I can get back on track without any help,” I say even though I’m not sure what getting back on track means anymore. I feel like I’m so far behind I don’t even know where to start.

Mrs. Luca nods. “I think we just need to start making a plan.

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